Flirting 101

Birds flying high You know how I feel Sun in the sky You know how thee fawk I feel heaux!

Summer is here. Idgaf when the official first day is. It's here heaux, it's here!! It's time to lewk alive heauxs! 901 Shelby Drive: Lewk alive! Lewk alive!

Outside is opening up. Businesses and social meet ups spots are also being deemed safe to venture out into. That means more opportunity to link and fraternize with potential suitors and potential next ex-husbands.

Whether you are a veteran pre-pandemic flirt that may have lost her way (or is open to a refresher course) or an akward social girl (hey Twin!), sis is here to help!

Flirting can certainly be very intimidating. Particularly if you're an introvert. Particularly if you are an awkward girl. Especially if you aren't really used to socializing intimately.

Oh and definitely if you are afraid of your pussy. But y'all listened to Nikkie's Werd of the Day last week when I discussed how to overcome this battle. Right? Goodt.

So anyhoo, it can be such a challenge navigating the murky waters of using your knowledge of flirting to show someone you are interested in them romantically or sexually. While there are some people who are natural born flirters (fuck y'all) and just get the flirting game together, there is a huge amount of us socially awkward folk who still struggle. Aside from just telling someone that you are feeling them, how do you flirt subtly and show someone you're into them?

Eye contact. This is major. Please don't leave home without it. However, there's a science to this shit. There's a thin line between googly eyes and jeepers fucking creepers. Studies assert that when we use eye contact to flirt, we should look and then look away for a total of three times in order to get the attention of your potential suitor. Be careful though as holding eye contact for too long is the most common mistake people make when flirting. So this is what you do: have your eyes make a zig zag motion. Sweep your eyes from eye to eye and then drift down to their nose. If you're extra daring, look down at their mouth. Give a little smile too. This is a great way to show your interest through eye contact. Though be careful not to stare too intensely and you might make someone feel uncomfortable.

Approach from the front. Lewk heaux, you can't creep up from behind on everyone. You can't rush upon folk with no warning. Folk got PTSD out in these streets and will clothesline you if you catch them off guard. Think about it. Have you ever been approach by a stranger while you were somewhere minding your business. Ever had a man pull up on you from behind to try to holler and your back get stiffer than a daaaaack at six in the morning? Yeah, let's show some respect for their space. We also do not want to make a wrong first impression or come off as a fawking macadamia nut...so please. Show a little respect. Approaching from the front also allows your potential suitor to really see you. Size you up. See all that you are bringing to table. Let em drink you in bew. Don't you let a drop spill.

Touch. Once you're engaged with the object of your interest and feel as though you have the green light, lightly touch their shoulder when you laugh or brush your hand against there when you are are speaking. Pick an imaginary piece of lint from their shirt. Squeeze their arm when you (genuinely) laugh at their jokes. Tease them playfully. Touching is the ultimate energy exchange. Tap on innn bew.

Body language. This is another big one. As this person is just getting to know you and isn't sure what your full personality is yet, body language is heavily relied upon. They will pick up on your behavioral cues to fill in the blanks. Watch how you move. Behavior cues that articulate interest are leaning into their direction while they are speaking. Smiling often is another. Let's also loop touch back down to this bullet because that is definitely a good avenue for body language.

Actively engage. This is major. You gotta show that you aren't just a pretty face. Pretty only goin get you but so far. The same goes for having a fat ass. You gotta bring more to the table baby. So ask questions about them. Show interest in who they are beyond their aesthetic. Compliment them. Show YOUR personality and YOUR intellect. Show interests in their responses. Genuine interest heaux. Folk know when you being fake. Show up as yourself, not a heaux you'll have to keep faking to maintain the entire relationship. Don't lose the game before you suit up.

Show interest in moving forward. Ask them what they do on the weekends. What do they like to do on their free time. Put it out there that you wouldn't mind getting to know them better. My favorite line to say is: "You seem like someone I should know". Oh heaux, niggas eat that shit up like shrimp top ramen noodles. With men, you stroke their egos a little. With women, you stroke their feminine energy. Never forget this.

So there you have it. Flirting 101. Take it and add your own twist to it. Go forth and be merry. Now gone and pop that pussy for a real nigga.

Leave them fake niggas alone this summer sis. We said we ain't doing that.