Yesterday I resigned from my job.
After seven years of working my “goodt government job”, I made the decision to walk away from the life I went to school for, and FULLY into my purpose. It was both the hardest and easiest thing I’ve had to do in quite some time.
I’ll get the easy part over with. It was so easy for me because honestly I was tired and it became challenging to divide my time between my work responsibilities and things with my brands-the shit I actually loved. I think that the more I healed and allowed spirit to guide me back to my path and purpose, the more I realized that the life I had created for myself was not in alignment with where Sprit needed me to be.
Then the pandemic happened and I was able to spend about 16 months home and really pour into my brands. Being home and able to really tap into myself uninterrupted was the catalyst for me. I stopped seeing myself as a “small business owner” and seeing myself as the CEO of six figure brands. I was able to finally hop into the saddle of CEO and really make shit shake. This dedication paid off tremendously as my brands skyrocketed and began to really show me that I had the power to really maximize my earning potential.
Returning to work pulled some air out of my sail. Yes, I still teleworked during the lock down but as a supervisor, my tasks were low key. Returning to the office three days a week not only took me away from my true environment, my purpose, and my brands but it also made me feel like I was sitting in my office like a sitting duck. Wasting precious time and devastating the schedule and work ethic that I built for almost two years. My day job was becoming an adversary for my purpose and I felt that shit every day I (stubbornly) came into work. With this being said, the easiest part was realizing that I didn’t have to go through this charade anymore and I could fully invest myself back into shit that made me happy and fulfilled my purpose.
Now let’s get to the hard part.
I am a single mother with a trill teenager, a mortgage, a middle aged yorkie, and absolutely no one to fall back on but myself. Stability is everything to me. With all that I stated in the aforementioned, as well as the fact that I am an earth sign. We don’t particularly like risks that have to do with our livelihood. Then sprinkle in the fact that I have always had to be the “responsible one” my entire life. I’ve never really been allowed to be reckless, especially after having my son (cause depending on my ex-husband would have me lewking like a Good Times extra and we wasn’t-and still ain’-having THAT), particularly being the sole provider for my household. Self-sabotage would begin to creep up and fill my head with doubt.
“Are you sure you want to quit your job? You make such good money….and it’s cushy because you really don’t have to do anything.”
“Do you really want to jump into the unknown? What if something happens?”
“Baby, you need to think about Kingston. This is not the time to be on ya ‘I wanna be a tree hugging creative’ spill. Why don’t you at least wait another three years when he is out of the house and in college?”
“What are you going to ‘fall back’ on?”
Any thought you can imagine-my Virgo ass already thought it and overanalyzed it. But then Spirit had to step in and tell me to cool it the fuck now.
“Haven’t you ALWAYS been able to count on me? Don’t I ALWAYS come through? Who do you know with a better work ethic as US? Look at what we have built so far?? AND while you’ve been splitting your time and attention with your day job. Imagine if you put all your attention into this and help me come through for US”
*(Editor’s note: This is why affirmations and self-talk is key)*
After slapping myself across the face a few times, you would think I was finally convinced to take the leap.
Nope, I was still a bit apprehensive.
So I took it a step further with spirit and pulled out my handy dandy tarot cards (I always keep a deck in my purse) and sat in front of my work computer and shuffled. I told myself if I pulled the World card, I would take that as a sign as this card represents completion. I shuffled and asked for a sign.
The first card that flew out was Death
The second was The World
The third was Queen of Pentacles
Then I realized the date.
We are in the 4th month of the year and 4 resonates with stability and foundation.
Yesterday was the 13th day of the month. The 13th major arcana tarot card is the Death card.
Lastly 2022 breaks down to 6 which is the number of balance, restoration and justice.
Baybeeeeeee, before I knew it, my fingers were gliding over my keyboard and typing up my letter of resignation. Once I submitted it, I felt this huge relief lift from my shoulders. The dread was gone. The apprehension was obsolete. The worry never came back up. Sending in my resignation felt like graduation. Like I was moving upward and onward.
And I am.
What are you walking away from this year that is putting you back on your journey?