8 Ways to Set the Mewd In the Bedroom 🤸🏾♀️
#1 Rule: Get rid of the distractions.
The distractions must go! Ta’day! Yes, this is some real shit. A lot of times, magic can’t pop off in the bedroom because y’all have waaaaaaaaaaaay too much shit in there plus distractions galore. He can’t get to the Pwussy cause there’s a huge ass flat screen TV showing the game and she can’t get to the daaaaaaaack because there are so many other distractions in her way that remove the focus. I’m going to tell y’all now that those televisions need their own bedtime. It’s a stimulant and if you’ve already got a real life one willing to share your bed, what thee fawk is you doing bew? I mean is you serious about this or not?? Turn it off at a cut off time nightly or take the TV out of the room completely. Yes, you heard me. Completely. The bedroom is to rest, relax, and entertain your company. Televisions aren’t really suited to provide a resting experience. Again, it’s a stimulant. Also, depending on the type of tv shows you watch, you could be setting yourself up for restless sleep and waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Take the tv out and replace it with a quality stereo, Alexa (think voice command change of songs while spinning on tha daaaaaack), or another sound device.
Let me tell you, one time I put my stereo on a Thunderstorm setting and had THEE MOST soothing and orgasmic sex of my life. Sound is an energy and it can take you there and set the mood if you use the correct shit. Netflix & Chill is cool but have you ever tried Nature Sounds & Come Get This Pwussy?
No? Well then you missing out bew!
Change your decor to the things that you like. Infuse your partner’s likes too. Remove the distractions and all the shit that ain’t bedroom and come fuck me, friendly.
#2: Aromatherapy is ya friend heaux.
This is an important one. Scents not only relax us and put us in the mood with euphoric delight, they also act as amazing memory refreshers when we smell that scent at a later time and thank back to the time we got our soul snatched or did the snatching. You want a nigga to be both enchanted and reminded of you? Get on ya scent game heavy.
There’s such a vast amount of tools you can use to get this popping. You can pick up your favorite quality candles with exotic lush scents or you can experiment with oil warmers and diffusers. If you’re a complex Heaux like myself, you can use all of them heauxs at the same time for an intense jam session. As an earth sign, I love rich earthy scents (they also go with my nature playlist-particularly when I’m role playing or wishing to capture a particular theme) and warm hues. Stay away from loud and heavy scents (unless that’s a turn on to you and ya bew) or anything that may be a distraction.
Instead, create a fucking oasis. Don’t be afraid to light smudge and spark up some incense for a super erotic romp. You can both a Black Sauce. Click here to go! Smoke ya space up. Make your partner find you between the vibes and energy. Turn your bedroom into some real Karma Sutra shit!
#3: Lighting.
This joint is equally important. I stan entertaining company under soft lights or candlelight. Don’t you dare touch that bright ass ceiling light! It’s unnecessary!
Pink Himalayan salt lamps (also available at Black Sauce) are your friend. Not only do they omit a soft light, they also have air purification properties that assist in cleansing the air, making your atmosphere even that more…lit 😎
If you must use your lights and lamps, try changing your light bulbs out with one that is more softer (perhaps 35 watts) OR a favorite from my young Heaux days: colored lights bulbs. Head on down to your favorite hardware store and cop you some red, pink, yellow, blue, or green light bulbs. Red is my favorite for obvious reasons. Replace your bulbs with these babies and I guarantee you that this will help set the mood right. Also, LED strip lights are what’s in style now with the kids. You can line your bed and headboard with them. Same for those old Christmas lights gathering dust in ya storage. Trace them over your headboard. Trail them over a mirror in front of your bed (I know my girls got mirrors in their bedrooms-I just know y’all do. If not, get them. They are your friend) or let it trail over your footboard. Turn your bed into the stage because baby that’s what it is.
#4: Bedding.
Your bedding can make or break the mood. The bed is your stage remember. So it needs to be on point. Think comfortable. Think inviting. Think warm & friendly. Think: “come & get this pwussy”. How does your actual bedding look bew? What them pillows hitting on? What that sheet thread count looking like? Is it welcoming and inviting? Is it sultry and sexy? Or is it giving Babysitters Club? Is it channeling: “I don’t give a fawk”? Come on now.
#5: Color & Decoration
Think wall art (ooooh Nik hates a bare white wall). Put you up some chimes. If you live close to a Ross, you are definitely in the number for the Saints to March in cause they got that decorative HEAT! Put you up some (real) plants in your corners. The more dramatic the leaves the better (please take care of them joints though).
Trail some tea light candles on your window sill or across your dresser. Chunk up different sized pillar candles on your nightstand (and away from the action). If space provides, put a sturdy chair in your room for sexy chair dances or to ride his ass silly (I prefer to ride my niggas in chairs/sofas versus the bed because you get more support and traction when your feet is on the floor *and less pressure on your knees*). You can also store a nice mini fridge (for after sex refreshments-cause who going downstairs to the kitchen after all that??) or a nice ice bucket (for kickbacks) in a cute space for later.
#6: Music
Last but definitely not least. Music is your friend and your partner in Heaux crime. It will help you create the energy you wish to capture by setting the correct tone needed to get you there. Keep you a ready made playlist (I have five of em) handy. If you use it a lot or between partners, the shuffle button is your best friend. Playlists are cool because you have control of the mood. If you’re feeling more spontaneous, put it on a Pandora/Tidal/Spotify/Apple Music channel and go with whatever flow the channel takes y’all. Just please cut the commercials out. They can kill a mewd to me. You can also ask your company what they want to hear of if they have a station to play that’ll get them more in the mood.
Happy Mewd setting 🤸🏾♀️🤸🏾♀️🤸🏾♀️🤸🏾♀️🤸🏾♀️🤸🏾♀️